Beautiful Stranger, the Spinoff
by dawnsama
Summary: AU. VH. A spinoff from Beautiful stranger, as you can tell from the title. Don't worry, it's a stand alone fic. Van, the rockstar, and Hitomi, the non-rockstar, are dating amidst media, publcity, and jealousy. But they can get through it, right?
1. Do, Tonic

            A/n Hey people! This is a stand alone story despite being a spin off from my story, Beautiful Stranger. I suppose it might help a little to read it first, I mean, it IS only three chapters, not too much right? I hope you like this one. Currently I have no idea how long I want this to be, just know that this isn't the last of me  you'll see with this fic.

Van de Fanel. Dark hair, dark eyes, tanned-skin, well toned body. Knock out. And to top it off, a famous rock star. 

            Currently in what his ex-girlfriend Merle would call, "deep shit." 

"Look honey, I'm really, _really_ sorry for missing our date…no I did _not _stand you up, I was merely caught up in a… It wasn't my fault I swear! I _know _how much you were looking forward to it, I _know_. I would never miss it on purpose! Why can't I just…"

Van looked straight on, keeping his face calm and controlled. He could do this, it wasn't the hardest thing in the world to do. He tried not to glance down at the carpeted floor of the hotel room.

"Please, don't hate me for this. I promise it won't happen again…oh bull shit what am I saying…er…I'm _sorry_, okay?"

            "Dude, who are you talking to?"

            Van abruptly stopped talking and turned his gaze away from the mirror, of which he had been speaking to. He scowled at the speaker.

            "Go away Folken! Can't you see I'm busy?" he snapped. 

            "All I see is that you forgot to memorize your lines," Folken replied, neatly scooping up the discarded script off the floor. He glanced down, eyes moving over the lines. "You know, you missed a _lot_ of lines… Are you aware that screen time is starting in 2 hours?"

            "Well it's your fault!" 

            Folken raised his eyes at the accusation. "Oh, really?" he asked innocently.

            "If it hadn't been for you I would never have agreed to this!"

            Folken shrugged his shoulders in agreement. 

            The thing was, Van had a passion for Saturday Night Live, hell he practically had an affair with it, but he _did not_ love SNL enough to willingly play guest host for an evening, especially since he had to memorize god damn _lines_. Van _hated _memorizing lines. His brother and manager Folken was quite aware of this but had apparently experienced a temporary amnesia when he talked to the SNL producers and this amnesia further deepened as he signed the contract that presently bound Van to his current turmoil. Folken of course, was dreadfully sorry but was perfectly unregretful of his rather hasty decision, as it would greatly enhance Van's publicity. You couldn't get too much publicity these days, that was Folken's motto.

            "Why do I need a script too, huh? And what's up with this skit? It's crap! I used to love show! What happened to it's quality? I'm only the host and they—" Van began.

            "Yes yes, you're only Van de Fanel, rock sensation in three countries and expanding further, heart throb of every girl of over ten years within a one thousand mile radius," Folken reminded. 

            Van winced. "Over ten years? You're making me sound like a pedophile."  

"Come now Van, you knew something like this would happen eventually. Lighten up! Just think of the Billboard ratings, and your lovely name moving slightly but surely up to number one! You will not only be an accomplished musician but an actor as well! Multi-talented! Who wouldn't want to be multi-talented?" 

Van stared at his manager, jaw hanging slightly open. He closed his mouth shut and took a deep breath.

"Folken, you _do _know how much I detest the way I am publicized as a pop icon…" he said slowly.

"Oh yeah, you mentioned that at one point," Folken agreed chirpily.

"And you _probably _are very aware of how much I _hate _your publicity stunts," Van added.

"Probably, sure."

"Then please tell me, big brother, _what possessed your mind when you signed the contract?_"

"Simply," Folken said calmly, "that my favorite and only little brother was _for sure _going to thank me in the near future."

            Van gave his brother a death glare and turned back to his mirror. He took a breath and started reciting.

            "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to…er…"

            "Saturday Night Live!" Folken finished for him. "Now take a bow— oof!"

            "Oh, did I just do that?" Van asked innocently as he removed his fist from Folken's head. He neatly took back the script and look over it again. He winced and started muttering under his breath.

            Rubbing his offended and bruised head, Folken listened intently to Van's muttering. "Did I hear a 'Hitomi' in you speech?" he asked.

            Van looked up at him. "Eh?"

            Folken placed a hand on his shoulder in an understanding way. "I get it now, lil bro. I just didn't see it! I totally forgot about Hitomi! It is all so clear to me. Imagine the expression on the girl's face when she sees you up there on national television forgetting your goddamn lines…"

            Van glowered at him. His girlfriend Hitomi was one of the prime reasons why his former of love of SNL was diminishing. 

            "Well, I'm sure taking on this job must be cutting in on your time with your little sweet heart," Folken said sensitively. "Don't worry, big bro's got it all taken care of." He delicately produced a cell phone into existence from a hidden pocket and dialed.

            Van glared suspiciously and nervously at Folken as his brother patiently waited for the other person to pick up. He paled at Folken's first words.

            "Hey, Hitomi baby! What's up my little…oh come now don't say that. Of course I'm still very sorry about making Van miss your Valentines Day dance. I'd kowtow to you right on the floor and kiss your feet in apology if I could but in these circumstances, will you settle for kissing noises instead? Just kidding, I swear!" Folken said, both to Van and Hitomi as they lunged for his throat and roared expletives respectively. 

            "Folken you son of a bitch," Van snarled.

            "Hey now, no need to insult your boy friend's heritage!" Folken said into the cell phone as Hitomi had apparently said a similar insult. "Come now, Hitomi baby, I'll make it up to you. You like SNL, am I right? You know that Van's going to host it live tonight, right? Well, since I know this publicity is tearing you two lovebirds apart, why don't you join us up here? I can get you a front row seat no problem!" 

            Folken ducked out of Van's lunge. "Like I said, it's no problem at all. I'll get a car to your house in no time flat!"

            "You've got to be kidding me!" Van yelled.

            "What? What was that Hitomi baby? I'm sorry, your boy friend just doesn't know how to keep his voice down. So anyway, what do you say? Come on up! It's been weeks since you've seen each other right?"

            Van gave up and watched intently in trepidation. He knew his brother well enough to know that he wasn't kidding about having Hitomi on the SNL set. He prayed that Hitomi would decline. Surely she'd know how awkward and terrible he was with his lines. Surely she wouldn't want to see him make an ass of himself…

            "Okay, dearie, just sit tight and wait a few minutes. A car will at your house pronto. See ya kid." Folken flipped his cell phone closed and beamed at his brother and client. 

"I think that went well, don't you?" he asked. "Problem no more! Now you'll be able to finally see your lover, which will then inspire you to make an exploding performance, which will then expand your career into the movie business! It's like shooting two birds with one stone isn't it? Three stones actually!"

            Van slouched onto his hotel bed, clenching a pillow. He brought the pillow up to his face and screamed.

            Folken nodded cheerfully. "My thoughts exactly. Have fun on those lines!" He turned to leave when Van stopped him.

            "I have a better idea. Why should we waste precious airtime with my horrible acting? How about this, big bro: instead of skits, I can just give a performance, with no additional charge! That way, the contract won't be violated, and they'll get a free performance of the one and only, Van de Fanel."

            Folken paused in thought for a moment. "That could work," he said slowly. "But I don't know…the producers were really looking forward to your acting performance…"

            Van waited a moment as Folken muttered some more before he relented. "Okay fine," he said through gritted teeth. "You can tell them my middle name."

            "Why, did I mention a _thing _about your middle name, Vannie?" Folken said, grinning with his teeth bared. "Well, they _did _wonder about your middle name…okay then! I'll just go nip around to Mr. Producer and bring up this slight change in plans. Oh yes, and a car for Hitomi too, right right."

            And finally, at last, Folken left the room.

            Van sighed in relief. Perfect. Now he could have a moment's peace.

            And he sagged onto his bed and grinned in spite of himself. Well, at least now he could finally see Hitomi again! He closed in eyes in reminiscence of their former dates and of their memorable first meeting. He wondered how her ex-boyfriend Allen was doing.

            After a moment, Van Slanzar de Fanel fell asleep.

A/n Right, I'm very aware that Folken is incredibly OOC. But I think he's cute like that. This IS an AU fic after all. 

Oh yes, and don't worry. I WILL continue this fic. 

Review?


	2. Re, Supertonic

A/n Wow, I updated pretty quickly…two days...frankly, this is unusually fast for me, considering how long I take to update my other stories… I guess I have a lot of impetus for this one…let's hope my inspiration last long. Thanks for the review! Review replies are at the bottom. Oh yeah, and if you haven't read my story Beautiful Stranger, you might want to. I try to explain a little of the background from BS in this chapter, I'm not sure I did it well though. I hope it's not confusing. More background stuff will come in later chapters.

"Eek! You get to see Van de Fanel LIVE! You lucky bitch!"

            Hitomi rolled her eyes, holding her cell phone a few inches away from her ear as her best friend Yukari screeched her happiness and jealousy.

            Three weeks. It had only been three weeks since she'd met Van. And it had been three weeks since she had been hiding their relationship from the world. 

Van and Hitomi had agreed from the beginning that they had to keep it quiet from the media. He had explained to her the experience of being under the public eye, always expected to be the happy-go-lucky charismatic musician, always perfect, and flawless. It wasn't the kind of life that Van enjoyed. Add a girlfriend on top of that, and the media would be on them like bees on honey. Van's last relationship with his childhood friend Merle had been squashed into that kind of world. A breakup had been inevitable. Afterward Van had sunk into a kind of hopeless, masochistic depression. Ironically, this depression had put a huge boost to his publicity, and suddenly his fans seemed to be entirely composed of hyperactive fan girls who were eager for his attentions but were also of course entirely sympathetic to his broken heart and very ready to heal it. These kinds of attention put a damper on his emotions rather than uplift them. It got to a point where Van had to literally start running for his sanity whenever sounds of loud fan girls were heard in the distance.

There was one good thing that came out of the fan girls. If the fan girls hadn't been chasing him, Van would never have literally bumped Hitomi onto the intersection, knocked her over, helped her up, and would never have helped her through with her break up with Allen.

"Hitomi, are you listening to me?"

"Yes of course," Hitomi replied dreamily. "Look I have to go now so I'll see you later at school."

"I'll watch for you when SNL comes on! Have fun!"

It was hard keeping Van a secret. Sure, her parents knew about him, but they weren't entirely aware of Van's fame and popularity, being old timers. It also helped that her parents used to play jazz music in their youth and Van was currently studying jazz music. So it seemed that Van reminded her parents of their youth. 

However, school was completely different. When the paparazzi caught scent of the fact that Van had kissed some girl who was _not _his ex-girlfriend (that girl was Hitomi), Fanelia High went into frenzy. Who was this girl? And how dare she date Van? Now he wasn't single anymore! 

Hitomi was generally not a very popular person. She gotten a sort of unique edge while dating Allen in a way that made her noticed by the In crowd but not entirely part of them. Hitomi had gotten the "How dare you date our shining prince in armor!" treatment while being Allen's girlfriend, to which she would reply with a snarl and be left alone. What would they say when her relationship with Van was revealed? Hitomi couldn't snarl to the whole country as she did at school.

She had even kept it a secret from her friends. Yukari, as much of a best friend she was, did not have the desirable talent of keeping her mouth shut. It wasn't as though she would blab Hitomi's relationship over the intercom if she were told. Rather, Yukari was the type of person who would just harmlessly tell one other person and make that other person swear on her life not tell anyone else. That other person would of course agree and then turn around and 'accidentally' tell her best friend, who would turn around and blab it to someone else and so on and so forth.

It was painful. But what else could she do?

Hitomi snapped her cell phone closed and looked out the window. There, a sleek black Mercedes awaited her on the sidewalk. Folken really wasn't kidding when he said the car would come pronto. Shrugging on a jacket, Hitomi yelled to her mom that she was leaving and walked out.

The Mercedes window rolled down and Hitomi was greeted with the sight of orange flames. She stopped right in her tracks.

"Oh God!" she muttered. She watched the orange flames go out and waited as the smoke blew out the window, revealing a slightly scarred sliver headed man.

The silver head looked up at her and blinked. "Whah? Who… Oh it's you Hitomi! How are you babe? Hop on in, we've still got at least an hour until filming starts."

"Were you experimenting with your lighter again, Dilandau?" Hitomi demanded.

"Oh yeah! Do you want to see? I just made this cool new trick--"

"_No_."

Dilandau. Genius drummer and dangerous pyromaniac. Scouted by Van and now a permanent member of his band. When Hitomi first met the drummer, he had accidentally exploded her iced water in the glass, without even breaking the glass cup. Clearly, Dilandau was some kind of bizarre genius. He just needed, Van had told her, a new hobby, other than fire that is. Otherwise he was a perfectly nice guy, if a bit twisted.

Hitomi inched a little closer to the car as Dilandau waved away some smoke. No wonder the car had come so quickly. Dilandau was just as reckless with cars as he was with lighters.

"If I ask nicely, could you drive _slowly_?" she asked cautiously. 

"What are talking about? I _always _drive slowly." 

"Well, could drive even slower?"

By this time, it had dawned on Dilandau that Hitomi was still not in the car. He scratched his head and wondered why anyone would feel unsafe with him as the driver.

"All right, if it makes you feel better," he replied slowly.

"Promise?"

"Sure, sure."

Hitomi sighed in relief and climbed in and immediately strapped on the seat belt. Barely a second later, Dilandau slammed on the pedals and the Mercedes roared into action. 

"Dilandau this is a neighborhood street! Why are you at 40 miles an hour? I told you to go slower!"

"I am! I was at 50 miles when I drove here! Hey, can you tell me the way to the high way again? I think I got lost."

"Argh!"

"What was that?"

It took approximately 5 minutes to find the highway, take the long highway stretch, and pull into the SNL studio parking lot, and the only reason it didn't take 3 minutes was because Hitomi's screeching distracted Dilandau from going over 100 miles per hour.

Hitomi took a deep breath to calm her nerves and then another one to slow her fast beating heart. She opened the door, stuck a leg out, and heaved herself out of the car. She swayed slightly as she tried to stand.

"Ugh… I told you to drive slowly Dilandau," she complained as she steadied herself on the door. She was starting to feel dizzy.

Dilandau looked hurt as slammed his door shut.

"I _was _driving slowly! If I went any slower even that old lady in the Alexis would have beaten me," he said.

"That old lady was going at 90 miles an hour!"

"Exactly."

Hitomi realized at this point that it was useless to argue with Dilandau and gave up. She followed Dilandau as he started off and realized that they weren't at the SNL studio.

"Dilandau, where are we?" she asked nervously.

"The hotel of course. Van's waiting in his room."

Hitomi smiled at the mention of Van. Folken had exaggerated in their phone conversation. Where had he had said weeks, it had actually only been a few days since she and Van last seen each other. 

Dilandau knocked on Van's door and waited patiently. When there was no response, he rapped it again but louder. When there was still no response, Hitomi quickly grabbed Dilandau's arm as he raised it to pound on the door. 

She knocked gently. "Van? Are you there?" Getting no response, she tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. Entering quietly, Hitomi grinned at the sight of Van snoozing on the bed.

Kneeling down next to his face. She kissed him lightly and poked him on the especially ticklish area of his neck. He twitched. Hitomi then proceeded to tickling him.

Van groaned and attempted to swat away the tickler. "Damnnit Folken, would you leave me alone? I didn't do it," he mumbled.

"Do what, Vannie?"

Van frowned, or at least tried to amidst the tickling. That wasn't Folken's voice. 

He opened one eye, blinked, and opened the other. At this point, the tickling began its evil effect and he started laughing.

Dilandau switched his lighter on and off as he watched Hitomi tickle the daylights out of Van. He snorted at their antics and wondered how long he would stand here unnoticed. 

Van was able to stop the tickling by grabbing Hitomi around the waist and tickled her on the sensitive part on the side. 

"No stop, stop!" Hitomi shrieked.

Dilandau shivered at the implications of the sounds they were making. He cleared his throat and chastely turned his head.

The cleared throat seemed to do the trick. The sounds of laughing and the actions of tickling stopped.

Van grinned happily at his girlfriend and pinched her nose affectionately. "Hey stranger," he said and then kissed her in greeting.

Dilandau cleared his throat again in case the implications started again. "You didn't lock the door," he told his friend. "What if a bunch of fan girls caught you sleeping?"

"Good thing Hitomi isn't a fan girl then," said Van. He sat up and stretched. 

Hitomi slung an arm around his neck, grinning. "So, I hear you have to do some skits," she said.

Dilandau guffawed. "Yep, Our Van here's gonna be an actor!" he proclaimed. Both he and Hitomi started snickering at this thought.

Van smirked. "Well, as a matter a fact, I got out of the acting part," he shot back.

Dilandau's expression fell slightly at the possibility of a comedy act being taken away.

"In fact, instead of acting, I'm just going to perform instead," Van explained. 

"WHAT? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Dilandau shouted in agony.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Van said, grinning widely.

"I haven't practiced for so long!" Dilandau complained. "You know we haven't had a gig for at least a week! I'm out of practice! I can't play on national TV!"

"Ah… well, we can just play the new stuff then," Van offered. "We've been working on them for past few days so they should still be fresh in your mind." 

"The new stuff? But I thought we were going to keep that quiet until the recording starts?"

Hitomi looked from Van to Dilandau in confusion. "New stuff? Could somebody explain to me what you're talking about?" she demanded.

Van explained. "We've been trying out some new styles lately and we've got some songs developing. They haven't been recorded or released to the public yet."

"Are they songs even I haven't heard yet?"

"Yep."

"I see… so what styles were you using?" Hitomi asked.

Van winked. "Jazz," he answered. "Your parents will like this. Let's go down to the studio now. I'll have to talk to the producer. He was really looking forward to seeing me act."

"Well no wonder," Dilandau drawled. "Just seeing you read off a script would make anyone—ow! You didn't have to hit me Van!"

Review replies:

**Feathers of Snow: Honeypot**—Hey! Thanks for reading! I'm glad you like it. I hope it's not too confusing if you didn't read Beautiful Stranger… well, good thing for you, I have ski week and inspiration so I think I'll be updating a lot with this story…at least this week anyway ^_^;

**Pogo the kosher penguin**—Folken gay? Hm…now _there's _a thought. It's interesting that you perceive him as gay. I actually wrote with those pushy Hollywood managers in mind…kind of like the lawyer in Chicago… ^_^ He certainly was pretty energetic…

**Snow blossoms**—Sorry for the confusion and I'm glad you liked the beginning! Yeah, I was going for a mood swing kind of beginning. I wanted to sort of build it up so that it seems like Van is talking to Hitomi, but then, nope, it's a mirror. ^^ Okay, I'll try to sort our some of you questions. The "I used to love show" part…*sheepish look*. Actually, that was my mistake. What I meant was "I used to love that show" meaning Van used to love SNL. And "I'd kowtow to you right now on the floor" kowtowing is the action of going down on your knees and bowing, a way to show respect. In China, people have to kowtow to the emperor all the time. So Folken was basically saying that he'd kowtow to Hitomi in apology, but since they were talking on the phone and Hitomi wouldn't be able to see him, he offered to make kissing noises instead. Lol…well, I hope you liked this chapter!

**MaboroshiTsuki**—HEY ANNE! HOW ARE YOU!? Well, your dreams have come true indeed! Your addiction is fed! ^^; I think I'll be updating this story a little more often…this reply review isn't very long since I can email you instead. One last thing, Jude Law = -**swoon-**


	3. Mi, Mediant

A/n Right, this is the reposted version. I didn't change anything major. I just changed the instruments and took care of some minor formatting. Hopefully it won't be screwed up when I post this…

The producer of Saturday Night Live scratched his head in puzzlement. "Saxophones? Vibes?" he said in wonderment. He rolled his tongue over the word 'vibes' as if he had never heard of the instrument. "Trumpets? Piano? Double bass? Mr. Fanel, I don't understand you. Why are you asking for such instruments? I thought Van played pop music."

"Rock," Folken corrected quickly. He indiscreetly stomped on Van's foot as his brother opened his mouth to loudly explain the difference between rock and pop. Van hated being referred to as a pop star. "And we did not _request _the instruments. We simply informed you that you would have to adjust your sound system to accommodate for such instruments, as your sound system is programmed for electric instruments. We also request that the set up of the stage be shifted so that all the musicians can fit in."

"I really wasn't expecting this. I'm willing to change the program since it doesn't violate the contract but—"

"Well, sir, I'm afraid my client—" Folken began. 

"Client? I thought Van was your brother?"

"I'm afraid so, sir," Folken said gravely. He sighed in frustration and drew himself up, switching into manager mode. "My _client_ wishes to perform unreleased music, and this music just happens to involve a piano, trumpet, vibes, a double string bass, saxophone, guitar, trombone and…what am I forgetting… oh yes, a string orchestra as well, but you don't have to worry about that. We have a synthesizer for strings. And drums too of course but we don't expect you to provide for that."

"Eh?" The producer scratched his head in puzzlement at the long list of instruments. "But Mr. Fanel, these instruments suggest that Van is going to play _jazz _music," the producer argued.

"And what's wrong with that?" Van cut in angrily. Folken elbowed him sharply in the ribs. While Van keeled over in pain, Folken neatly slid in.

"Don't mind my _brother_, the stress is just getting to him," he said.

"Where are we going to find a _piano_?" the producer mumbled frantically to himself. "The stage isn't big enough for a _piano_—_"_

"I assure you, sir, a keyboard will be just fine," Folken said, no indication of his hidden frustration showing on his smooth, smiling face.

"And vibes…what _are _vibes anyway?"

Van, who had recovered from his chest pain, threw up his hands in exasperation at this question. Folken nudged him, silently informing him to control himself.

"I really don't see how we can accommodate for all these instruments. We only have, oh damnnit, one hour until screen time! Where are we going to find all these instruments?"

"It's not as if we're telling _you _to provide the instruments!" Van snapped. His voice took a loud volume. "My band has their own instruments! Do you think we're stupid? Do you really think we would play on whatever crap ass piece of junk you give us? We just wanted you to know the change of plans! _All we ask_ is that you adjust the show to accommodate for our performance! And what's wrong with jazz any--"

"My client is very distressed!" Folken interrupted loudly. "He is still recovering from his depression! Your lack of understanding is making him very frustrated."

The producer cowered under the stares of the two Fanels. "Yes…yes…I'm very sorry Mr. Fanel," he apologized, not completely sure to which Fanel he was apologizing to. "I just don't really understand…"

Inwardly, both Fanel brothers groaned. Folken, the mature one, drew himself up and forced a polite smile on his face.

"I _completely _understand you," he said to the producer, who looked relieved at that statement. "I am just so sorry that you do not understand _us_. You see, the original contract had Van acting on stage. Unfortunately, we do not know what kind of actor Van is, so therefore, your ratings are fairly unpredictable. We can't risk that, can we? Such a prestigious show as Saturday Night Live can not risk the chance of bad ratings. So therefore, we sensitively thought that if we changed the procedure from Van acting to singing, it would greatly improve your ratings. Singing is what Van does best, so it is entirely _certain _that you will attain good ratings for tonight. And because Van will perform his new, _unreleased _music, your number of viewers will most probably sky rocket to an astonishing amount."

The producer looked as though he was relenting, but Folken could see that he hadn't completely cracked him yet. He continued and added his final flourish.

"We are also very fair business, almost masochistic to ourselves. The contract of course has the price of which you will be paying Van for tonight's performance. Changing acting to singing would probably increase the amount of money you owe to Van. Actually, it would increase it to an astonishing degree if you include Van's band, which by the way composes of seven musicans. But because we are entirely sensitive to the strain we put on you because of the change of plans, we are not charging you a _penny _more than the original payment we agreed on. And _that's _like slitting our own throat," Folken concluded.

It was the perfect moment for a wave of applause to sound off, but there was no applause as the producer shook Folken's hand, apologizing to Van for all the trouble he gave to him.

Once the producer left to issue out new instructions, Folken dropped his slick manager demeanor and wiped his forehead. 

"Well, I'm glad that's taken care of," he said, flopping onto a chair.

Van, whose fists were balled, glared in the direction the producer had left in. "I can't believe that man. 'What are vibes anyway?'" he mocked. "It's amazing how many stupid people there are."

"It's all in the business, Vannie boy," Folken reminded him. "You can't help being the only smart apple in the bunch."

"Yeah, I can't help actually being serious about my music. 'These instruments suggest that Van will be playing _jazz _music'" he mocked again, putting a high pitched tone on the word 'jazz.' "So what if I like jazz! So what if I want to explore a new type of music? I can't stick to rock forever!"

"Very true, yes, yes," Folken said absent-mindedly. "Well, I think now is the time to talk to the boys."

"The boys" was the term Folken used to refer to Van's band. They were currently sitting backstage, chatting and eager to see Van's now nonexistent acting debut. 

Hitomi was with the boys when Van left her and Dilandau. Now she was trying out the vibes when Van rejoined them.

"So, how did it go?" she asked, pounding out some notes on the vibes. The vibe player sweated nervously, worrying for the sake of his instrument.

"The producer's a dumbass, but he agreed in the end," Van said, giving her a peck on the cheek. The boys already knew about the two of them of course. Van trusted them entirely; they were like brothers to him. Thus it was safe to show signs of affection in their presence.

"Thanks to my genius persuasion of course," Folken cut in, swelling his chest proudly.

"Yeah, sure," Van said wryly. "So, we need to move all the equipment onto the stage now. We've only got an hour to figure out how we're going to set up so hurry. The audience will be arriving soon."

The boys all leaped up. Hitomi smiled at their efficiency. She loved hanging out with them. They were a laid back, fun loving bunch. But despite their goofiness, they were all still professionals in their music. Each and every one of them knew how to play more than just guitars and bases. 

Hitomi helped Dilandau move his drum set onto the stage. 

"Hey Van," Dilandau called. "Where do I set this up?"

"Somewhere in the back, where people won't see you!"

"Very funny jackass!"

"Now, now, don't swear when a lady's present!" Folken said, winking Hitomi.

"I can swear whenever I fucking want!"

Hitomi laughed hysterically.

"What? What'd I do?" asked Dilandau in confusion.

~*~*~*~*~

"Now, now, don't swear when a lady's present!"

Thin, pointy ears pricked up and wrinkled. Pink hair swished as the head turned sharply. Eyes narrowed when they saw the speaker of the statement.

Merle's sharp teeth pricked her lips as she recalled similar situations as the one she watched on the stage. So Folken still told Dilandau not swear. _Merle_ used to be the lady Folken referred to. 

Merle Catsdaughter was a stylish woman of taste. She wore personally tailored clothes, makeup that only professional make up artists would use, chic nail polish, and her shoes, well, don't get her started on her shoes. 

She stood in the shadows near the entrance to the SNL studio, unnoticed by those on the stage, quietly watching. Merle had done everything in her power to secure herself a seat in the audience of SNL. Normally she would have merely disregarded SNL, they had done some parodies that she really didn't approve of, reason being that they parodied _her_. But for now, she would swallow her disregard.

After the break up, Van avoided Merle wherever she went. This was her only chance to see him. 

People used to gossip on what a wonderful couple she and Van de Fanel made. It was quite the classic couple: the bad boy rocker and the beautiful shy girl who brought out the best of him. Eventually, the media had put so much pressure on the couple that they created problems and rifts between the two, which then resulted in a break up. Or so the media thought at least. The breakup was actually much more than that.

She frowned as she spotted the new lady. Short hair, dirty blonde, gangly limbs, not much trace of makeup. What a contrast there was between the girl and herself!

Merle's mind began to drift amongst the past.

_"You're so dependent on the latest fashions and trends. Why? You have an imagination. Don't you have any style of your own?"_

Who had said that to her? Who had _dared _say such a thing? To Merle? Merle, who was considered _the _trendsetter of the decade? Then Merle remembered: it was her ex-boyfriend, Van de Fanel.

"Why should I worry about the media? If they don't like the song, that's fine. They're entitled to their own opinions. Why should I care? I can't please everyone and I don't want to. What's the point? Why should I care? It's my music god damn it! Not theirs! I'm not like you, always worrying about what people will they say. Why do you care?"

"Media media media! It's always about the media! Remember when we graduated from high school? When you used to kiss me because you loved me? Now the only reason you kiss me is so the reporters can get a good picture of it!"

_"If you always rely on what the media says of you, then do you _really_ have a mind of your own?"_

_"Why do you care?"_

_"Do you love me anymore?"_

_"Do you?"_

_" Truly?"_

Merle growled under her breath. Van hadn't and didn't understand. She had almost burst into tears when Van had questioned her love for him. He just didn't understand. She was only looking out for him. When he accused her of caring only about the media's opinion, Merle was merely being realistic. Van's success depended wholly on the media. If the media weren't pleased, then Van would be dumped in the trash along with his career. And then who would listen to his precious music? Nobody would pay attention to an abandoned pop star. Ah yes, there was that issue too. Van hated it when he and his music were referred to as pop. But in reality, anything played on the radio, anything popular, was pop music whether he liked it or not. Any artist young and good looking, whether or not he or she actually had talent, would always be considered a pop artist.

Did Van really think he could break out of the stereotype? Well, he thought he could, but he couldn't see, as Merle had, that it was simply impossible. If Van didn't want to see that, than there was nothing Merle could do.

_"Why should I care? Why do you care?" _That was one of the problems: Van didn't care. He wanted only personal satisfaction in his music, not fame. Fame was something he didn't care about. Merle had taken it upon herself to have the role of _caring_ for such things. Apparently, all the _caring _she did was just too overwhelming for Van. Yes, that was one problem. 

Why did Van push for the break up? Everything in Merle's life was dedicated to Van. When they were children, she had even called him "Lord Van." She was completely subjected to him. What else did he want?

Merle gritted her teeth as she watched the new girl joke around. _She _used to be the one who would hang around the boys. Granted, she was never that friendly with them. They _were _only the band after all, hardly important, their names only got the fine print in the credits. 

The girl was so…_plebian_. Her clothing consisted of a mere pair of black jeans and a t-shirt. Nothing designer made of course. Her hair was cut short Peter Pan style. It didn't look as though she had bothered to comb it. 

Wait, just because she was female didn't mean the girl had any romantic connection to Van. Merle relaxed. Silly Merle, she thought to herself. She really was _that_ insecure to jump to such a conclusion. Perhaps she was merely a stagehand, or an assistant to the band. She could be anything really.

She checked her watch. 45 minutes until the show. 25 minutes until the audience were allowed to take their seats. Merle sighed in impatience but forced herself to wait. It would all be worth it, just to speak to Van again. Settling herself into the shadows, Merle continued to wait and watch. 

"Okay, I think this is it."

Van stood at the front row of the audience, peering up at the stage set. He squinted his eyes, checking to make sure that each and everyone member of his band had ample room to play their instruments and to switch instruments when necessary. Satisfied, he hopped back on to the stage. 

"Right, now that that's settled, let's tune up," he ordered. He sat down at the keyboard himself and played at an A-note. Assorted sounds of squeaking and booming followed as the musicians tuned their instruments.

Hitomi sat down on one of the sound speakers. Glancing around, she saw that some of the SNL actors and comedians had wandered into the studio, plainly wondering about the sounds.

"Wait a minute…why are you setting up instruments?" one comedian said.

"Are you going to perform?" another asked.

"Yes, we changed the contract to performing instead of acting," answered Van without looking up.

"Oh, that's too bad. I was really looking forward to doing that skit with you," the first comedian said. 

"And which skit was that?" Van asked politely.

"You know? The one with the break up scene? Where you come in late and start apologizing to me? I practiced the crying and the slapping and everything!" The comedian sighed in anguish. "Oh well, next time maybe."

The actors left for the make up rooms. Hitomi stared after them.

"Van," she said. "You were going to get _slapped_?"

A series of muffled snorts echoed in the room.

Van glared. "Oh shut up," he said weakly.

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer// Escaflowne doesn't belong to me. Neither does SNL, and I'm sure the producer of SNL is actually a very cool and smart person who knows what vibes are.

A/n. Okay, so next chapter is going to be the performance itself. See you next time!


	4. Fa, Subdominant

A/n. Okay, this a songchap. I put both the Japanese lyrics (in quotation marks) and the English translations (in parenthesis). Please note that the lyrics that Van is actually singing are the **_Japanese lyrics_**. As much as I am grateful to all those who labor to translate songs so that we Japanese illiterates know what they mean, the translations just don't have a flow or beat so I don't feel the same essence I get while listening to the actual song itself. Do you get it? I know, I'm not explaining very well…

Oh yeah, and who can recognize the lyrics? Tell me if you know what songs they are…no cheating by scrolling down to the bottom!

~*~*~*~*~

She was nearly trembling with anger. Merle snarled under her breath as she watched Folken lead the Plebian girl (the name Merle used to refer to stagehand girl, or the band assistant girl, or whatever she was) to her seat. Merle was prepared to accept the fact that a lowly assistant girl would get herself a seat in the audience, a feat that Merle spent an excessive amount of time trying to accomplish. But Merle would never have even guessed that the Plebian girl would receive a front row seat!

Merle balled her long-nailed hands into a fist, nails biting into her palms. The absolute worst part was that the Plebian girl had gotten was the exact seat that Merle had so strived and consequently failed to get. It was the perfect spot to attract Van's notice. It was practically right under his nose! There would have been no way possible for him to avoid and ignore her if she sat in that seat! 

She was still livid that her contacts had been unable to snag that seat. All they had managed was the seat right behind the Plebian girl. Granted, it wasn't a bad seat, she would still be completely noticeable to Van, but her grand scheme would have worked better in the front row…

People were beginning to arrive at the studio. Merle waited for the moment and then straightened herself. She materialized out of the shadows, displayed her audience pass to the security guards and sauntered over to her second row seat. She made sure to glare at the Plebian girl as she turned around to look at her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hitomi settled into her seat and looked around. Folken had reserved her a front row seat true to his word. The audience members had already begun to trickle into the studio. Not many of them sat near to the stage at all. The closest one to Hitomi sat directly behind her, a pink haired girl with an excessive amount of make up. She opened her mouth to chat for a bit while they waited for the filming to begin, which would be in 20 minutes. This audience member seemed to be having a private hissy fit. She glared at Hitomi and sniffed at her, looking down her nose at the girl.

Shrugging, prissy people really couldn't be helped, Hitomi turned back to the stage. Van and the boys were now at the moment waiting back stage. They weren't allowed to be in sight of the audience in order to avoid any chaos. Hitomi had to leave them in order to claim her seat. Supposedly, her seat was very popular, and Folken assured her that people would try to steal it if she didn't get there first, even if it was reserved for her.

Twenty minutes passed. 

The audience buzzed with excitement. This was going to be legendary show tonight. Van de Fanel guest hosting and acting? What a dream come true!

To their disappointment, however, it was not Van who came out to welcome the audience. Hitomi smirked to herself as various members of the audience shouted out jabbing remarks and asked loudly where Van was. Luckily, the comedian host was well prepared for their comments and avoided in answering them smoothly. 

Van's performance was saved for the last half of the show. Hitomi did like the first half, but in truth, she was getting giddy with impatience. She was obscenely eager to hear Van's new jazz music. Who cared about the other skits? She could just watch them at home later.

And finally, Van arrived on stage. 

The response to the musician was dynamic and terrifying. It was as if a wave of sound smashed onto the people and rebounded into the air. The sound was so powerful that windows in outer rooms of the building cracked from the sound waves.

Hitomi plugged her ears and watched Van's response to the audience. He blinked a couple of times in confusion and looked around as if trying to see whom they were cheering for. Then he realized that it was he. 

Van had always been uncomfortable with his fame. Sure enough, Van only smiled uncertainly at the audience. He began to relax when his band entered the stage as well. 

Slowly, Van began to change as he sat down at the keyboard and looked around at the boys. Hitomi watched as he shook out his fingers and settled himself on the keyboard bench. He adjusted the mike.

"So, how is everyone?" he asked. The simple 4 words brought out a thunderous, if slightly hoarse, noise of happiness. "Good," he said with a shrug. Hitomi giggled to herself. It was obvious that Van didn't give a shit about how the audience felt.

"You guys are in for a treat today. We're going to be playing some new, never been heard music we've been developing. So don't expect any old hits tonight," he said, as if warning the audience to be good. Not that the audience cared of course. They screamed loudly in approval.

Van turned and the caught the eyes of his band members. He hunched his shoulders up as a signal and they began to play.

Dilandau and the bass player kept up the beat. Van and the vibes percussionist provided a slow intro and the brass instruments created a pulse. Hitomi grinned to herself in total approval of the music and amusement as the audience slowly came to the realization this was jazz music coming to their ears. 

Van began to sing.

  

    
    _"__Subete wa mou owatta to_
    
    _Mimi o saii da mama de kimi ga iu_
    
    _kotoba wa tada nagareteku_

_Yasuragu koto no nai ashita e"_
    
    _(__Since I thought everything was over_
    
    _Closing my ears_
    
    _What you're telling me is floating away_

_Towards tomorrow there is no comfort)_

  

    
    _"__Inori sae mo kieta yoru_
    
    _Nani o shinjite doko e kimi wa iku_

_Namida iro no ryuusei ga asake warau you ni ima sugiteku"_
    
    _(When the night even prays, it disappears_
    
    _What do you believe and where are you going?_

_The shooting star is the color of tears, is like laughing, passing away now.)_

_  
_

It was almost a surreal feeling that came to Hitomi. Hitomi felt like bursting of awe. Van was truly a talented musician. She watched him sway slightly to the beat and move as he played. She caught Van's eye as his fingers gently pressed out notes and chords on the keyboard. 

They both smiled at each other once Van's vocal part was done. The audience immediately began to applaud Van's new future single, but then they became confused when Van and the boys hadn't stopped playing yet. Hitomi stopped herself from sniggering. Apparently, the audience wasn't aware that Van's new music included purely instrumental segments.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Van felt almost bitter when they finished the first song. Sure, the audience was loud and supportive, but Van could feel that their applause wasn't sincere. Grimly, he acknowledged the fact that a majority of the audience wasn't applauding his music, they were only applauding his false image of a pop star. 

He quickly found Hitomi in the audience and gave a small, discreet smile to her. His eyes wandered around Hitomi and caught sight of another girl. A pink haired girl who looked almost like…

Van abruptly averted his gaze, switching off the mike. No, he was not going to think of _Her_. _She _wasn't sitting behind Hitomi. He wasn't going to let _her _distract him.

He turned to his band members and informed them which song they would play next. Those who would play different instruments quickly changed. The vibe percussionists carefully moved the vibes aside and picked up a set of conga drums. The trumpeter took off the mouth piece of the trumpet and put a new mouth piece on. He gave that to Van and took up the keyboards in Van's place.

Van turned back to the audience. He waved to them for silence, which didn't succeed as many female and male members of the audience alike assumed that he was waving personally to them. As a result, they only became more rowdy and violent as well as many people accidentally slapped others in the head in an attempt to wave to Van. Van flinched and sighed. He turned to Dilandau and nodded.

On cue, Dilandau immediately pounded out an interesting but loud combination. Somehow, he managed to drown out the audience and their noise. This shocked the audience so much that it became silent. Dilandau continued to play even after they became silent. 

Van grinned o himself. He and Dilandau developed this percussion piece together just for loud audiences like these. The only catch was that the drummer had to be loud and energetic in order for it to succeed in calming the audience. Fortunately, Dilandau had such an excessive of energy that he could play this percussion piece ten times in a row before becoming both tired and deaf.

"Give it up for Dilandau!" Van yelled when Dilandau finished. Out of the corner of his eye, Van spotted Dilandau making waving actions in protest. "On second thought, never mind," he said quickly before the audience could become loud again. 

He looked around at his band and made the hunched shoulders again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Merle gripped her seat arms in shock and fury. What the hell was Van _thinking?_ Did he really think he could pull it off playing _jazz music? _Did he really think his jazz pieces would ever become popular? Would they sell?

To Merle's greater shock, this piece didn't even have any vocals. It was purely instrumental. It wasn't even possible for Van to sing at all. He was fully occupied with playing the trumpet. 

She slunk back against her seat in despair.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hitomi nearly peed in her pants with glee. It was amazing! This jazz piece was so energetic that Hitomi wanted to get up and start dancing, but then somebody would probably steak her seat so she stayed put.

At one point, halfway through the song, the audience once again thought that the piece was over and began to clap. Hitomi listened with further amusement as the audience realized its mistake and the clapping died off. 

Next to her, a girl said to her friend, "I don't get it. I can't even tell when a song is over! What the hell is Van playing anyway?"

Hitomi couldn't stop herself." It's called a _solo_" she snapped to the girl. "A _trumpet solo_. Got it?"

She turned back to Van before the girl could respond, her gritting teeth soon turning into a smile as she listened to the music. 

The jazz piece ended. The audience began to shout out request of old hits and singles. Van looked bewildered as the requests merged to a roar of noise. Dilandau hit a cymbal suddenly and the audience immediately calmed down.

"You know," Van said. "I think we can play an old song. But _I _get to choose." 

He turned to his band and shouted out a song name. The band got to work again. This time, some of the band members merely put their instruments back into cases while others replaced their instruments with entirely different ones. Dilandau was the only one who stayed put. Soon, there was an ensemble of a guitar, drums, keyboard, and synthesizer. Van himself took up the keyboard. He adjusted the mike and began.

"   nigiyaka na    hitogomi ni    tokeru    tsubuyaki ga

   ashi moto ni    chirabatta    omoide    nijimaseru"

    (The whisper that dissolves into the bustling crowd

    makes the memories scattered underfoot blur together.)

  "mayoi  aruku   machi no kagayaki wa    glaring one way

   kogo e sou na    boku o terasu"

   (The blazing of the street where I walk about lost (glaring one way)

    illuminates me as coldly as though it freezes.)

  "tsumetai toki ga   yume o furaseru   kono te no naka o    suri nukete

   negai kazo e   mezame ta toki ni   yureru maboroshi ni kimi ga utsuru

   boku o michibiku   kasu kana   shiruetto"

  ( The cold times make dreams fall like rain and slip through my hands."

    When I woke up from the countless wishes, you are reflected in a shimmering illusion –

the silhouette whose faint smile leads me along.)

            This time, the audience was totally consumed into the music, perhaps because of its familiarity. Hitomi, having never been a fan of Van's before becoming his girlfriend, did not know this song. But she immediately fell in love with it. She could hear the passion in Van's voice, which was enough.

            Van's eyes began to wander again. He caught Hitomi's eyes and brightened. He smiled through his singing and held her eyes. Hitomi leaned forward in her seat. One of her hands slipped up and clutched the edge of the stage. Van seemed to shift forward in his seat at the keyboard. It was as if it were only the two of them inside the SNL studio. Just Van singing only to Hitomi.

            The applause was genuine and heartfelt. It was one of the few times that Van sincerely smiled to his audience instead of gracing them with his usual confused grin. 

            Hitomi immediately leapt up from her seat the moment the cameras stopped rolling and dashed backstage. She raced through, dodging random staff members of SNL and found Van. 

            Van saw her at the same time as she and opened his arms to her embrace. That was all they could do. With all the people around them, they could not kiss so instead contented themselves with the embrace and shared a smile together. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

             Merle tried desperately to calm herself. 

            Van had definitely noticed her, she had seen him look away. But after that, it was as if had never noticed her at all. He was too engrossed in his music to look back at her again. It was frustrating the way Van's gaze always seemed to be near her seat but not totally on her. Van had been looking at something else, but what?

            All evidence that the thing was the Plebian girl. The first time, Merle had successfully convinced herself that Van was _not _looking at the Plebian girl but herself. Perhaps he had only been too shy to look at her. But the other times, it was plainly and painfully obvious. Van had not been looking at Merle at all, only the Plebian girl.

            No, no, that's nonsense, Merle quickly thought to herself. There had to be another explanation. Van couldn't have been locking eyes with that chit of girl. It was hard to stay convinced. During the last song, Van's intense gaze was plainly locked with the Plebian girl's.

            Well, even if he was looking at the girl, Merle could change that. As the throng of exiting audience members thinned, Merle quietly stole away to the back stage area. The time had come at last to see and speak to Van once again.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Disclaimers: Escaflowne's not mine. Neither are the songs. 

A/n The first song is See You Space Cowboy, from Cowboy Bebop, and the third song is Glaring Dream, from Gravitation. You can imagine the second song for yourself since it was purely instrumental, but the song Van was actually playing was Tank, from Cowboy Bebop.

So there you go, the performance. Now I'll take this time to explain why I chose those songs. The Cowboy Bebop songs are one of my favorite songs/pieces of all time, plus I think they fit perfectly well with Van's style. And the Gravitation song…well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Gravitation. Glaring Dream is the ending theme. I thought this song was especially appropriate. The voice actor of Van is the same actor as Shuichi, who is the main character in Gravitation. Since Gravitation is about popstars, Shuichi sings as well, and although his voice actor doesn't actually provide his singing voice, I still think the style fits really well with Van…did that make sense at all?

….Review?


	5. So, Dominant

A/n Oh boy, sorry for the long delay. This particular chapter was the hard one, the chapter with all the explanations. Be warned of lengthy and sappy dialogue. Oh yeah, and I've once again changed the chapter titles. Now they are the solfege names of the notes in a scale with the technical names. As there are 8 notes in a scale, there will also be 8 chapters in this story…or at least that's what I'm planning anyway…

Oh yeah, I'm glad to see those fellow Gravitation fans! Yuki! * swoon* **If you haven't seen/read Gravitation, please skip this paragraph and continue onto the chapter.** I don't think I'm ever going to put more Gravi songs though, well mostly because I don't think there'll be more songfics, but also because I don't think many of the songs fit my AU Van's style. I love the Gravi OST dearly, but frankly some of the songs are a little too poppy for Van. 'Glaring Dream' however was one of the many exceptions. The song is so passionate. I didn't even know that it was the same singer as all of Bad Luck's other songs because his emotion was so different. ^_^ I really love Glaring Dream…

//Insert standard disclaimer statement here\\ 

            **Dilandau** looked distinctly uncomfortable when he interrupted their embrace.

            "Erm…" he stuttered. "Uh…sorry to disturb you but…"

            Van shrugged and turned to face his friend, one arm slung around Hitomi's waist. 

            "You know it's okay. What's up?" he asked cheerfully.

            Dilandau wrung his hands together and pulled out his lighter. He distractedly switched in on and off nervously. A spark caught on his jacket sleeve and lit up. Dilandau was in such a state of nervousness that he didn't notice and continued to play with the lighter.

            "Aw hell, Dilandau." Van grabbed his arm and briskly beat the fire out, he had had experience with this before. "What the hell's the matter with you? What's wrong?"

            Dilandau shook some ashes off, clearing thinking about how to respond. "Well…" he began, but something them cut him off. He gave up and pointed with his finger to the entrance. They turned.

            Something pink haired, bright and flashy was walking determinedly toward them. Hitomi recognized her as the snob who sat behind her. She looked at Van in question and blinked, confused at Van's expression.

            Van's arm around her waist had tightened. His body stiffened, eyes widened, hands shook uncontrollably. His breath came in hard gasps, tanned skin paled.

            The bright and flashy thing stopped just short of Van, pointedly ignoring Hitomi and particularly the arm around her waist. She casually swayed ever so slightly nearer to Van until she was in a position suitable for peering shyly up into Van's eyes. Batting her eyes, the bright and flashy thing's face became even more tragically confused.

            "Van?" she breathed in a fragile voice, looking up slightly to see his reaction. It was not the voice of a fan girl finally greeting her long time idol. The bright and flashy thing spoke somewhat hesitantly but with a timbre of childlike familiarity. She spoke as though she were greeting a long lost lover, and perhaps she was.

            Hitomi tried to keep her mouth from hanging open and turned to said long lost lover in question. 

            Van set his jaw into a firm, grim line. He glanced coldly down at her, arm tightening even more about Hitomi's waist. Only a chilly glare responded to the bright and flashy thing.

            Dilandau cleared his throat in lieu of the silence. "Merle came in asking for you," he said, as if attempting to explain the bright and flashy thing's existence. 

            _Merle? _Hitomi bit her lip, not sure how to react. So the bright and flashy thing was Van's ex-girlfriend? What the hell was she doing here?

            "Van," Merle whispered again. "Van, why won't you say anything?"

            Hitomi could feel a wave of disgust roll over. It seemed that the girl was attempting to reenact a clichéd cinematic romance scene. It was sickening to watch Merle's lip quiver and whimper in tragedy. Hitomi found it hard to determine why Van had ever dated a girl such as she.

            Van, apparently, was disgusted by this performance as well. His glare turned into an expression of exasperation.  

            "What do you want me to say?" he snapped, lyrical voice now low and threatening. "You want me to tell you how much I didn't miss you? How I became an emotionless shell because of you? Huh?"

            Merle's shocked face quivered. She as though her heart were made of glass and Van had shattered it.

            Van didn't appear to be fooled. "The question is, what do _you _want to say, Merle? Just say it now and we'll both go our separate ways."

            Merle molded herself into a tragic portrait of a broken girl at Van's words. This picture was ruined when Merle looked sideways at Hitomi with a venomous, narrowed pair of purple lined eyes, the simple action glinting the surface of her true nature. Or so it seemed to Hitomi at least.  

            "Who is _she?_" Merle whispered.

            "What's it to you?" Van growled. "If you must know, Hitomi is—"

            "Why don't you and Merle talk in a corner or something," Dilandau cut in. "In _that_ corner maybe?" He pointed in the direction of a corner that was vacant yet noticeable enough to the various SNL staff and actors so as to dissuade Merle from getting any shady ideas.  Dilandau briskly unattached Van's arm from Hitomi's waist and then briskly hurried Van and Merle over to the corner. As they were being hurried, Van was in the process of opening his mouth to protest his friend's rather oppressive behavior; Merle on the other hand had a look of elevated disgust at being hurried by a non-famous musician. If Hitomi hadn't still retained her wave of disgust, she would have been amused at Dilandau's brisk antics.

            Hitomi glared at Dilandau when he returned from his hurrying. 

            "Why did you stop Van from telling her who I am?" she asked.

            Dilandau's usual eccentricity and former briskness had melted away. He now looked anxious and nervous in a way that didn't suit him at all. He ran a hand through his hair, murmuring along the lines of "oh shit" before he answered Hitomi.

            "Think about it, 'tomi," he replied. "What would happen if you and Van leaked out onto the press? What would happen if it leaked through _Merle, _Van's _ex?"_

"Oh." Hitomi grimaced, ashamed that she had forgotten such a possibility.

            Dilandau nodded knowingly and gravely. "Besides, Merle isn't the type to cross when she's determined to have something. It won't help the situation if we tell her that she has a romantic rival. And I don't think Van's arm around you did any good at all."

            Hitomi glanced over to the corner. "So are you saying that Merle's here to get Van back?"

            "What else?"

            Hitomi sighed and rubbed her eyes. She looked up again at Van and Merle. "What happened between them anyway?" she asked. "I don't think I understand…" She looked up expectantly at Dilandau.

            Dilandau flinched at her look. "All right then," he said, relenting. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            **Van** crossed his arms and looked stoically down at Merle. His eyes turned dull, mouth set. 

            Merle let out a small breath agitatedly. She could barely believe it. Van was putting on his publicity front to her, the carefully developed, neutrally emotionless face. He only did this whenever there were unwanted fans around him.

            "Don't look at me that way, Van," she pleaded with him. "I've come all this way just to talk to you, can't you at least look happy to see me?"

            Van's eyes narrowed. He said nothing.

            Merle's eyes widened. Tears threatened to leave her eyes. "I'm _sorry _for all the painful things I said to you, and I'm willing to forgive and forget all the things you said to me."

            Perhaps her tragic demeanor had a small impression on him. In any case, Van dropped his neutral look and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair in thought, looking at a spot in the wall.

            Merle pressed in. "Van I _miss _you. I couldn't help it. I just remembered all the good times that we had together and…" She lowered her eyes sadly. "I just…I realized that it's impossible for me to hate you. I _can't _hate you, no matter what you do! I lov--"

            "Stop it."

            Merle's head snapped up. 

            Van looked at her directly in the face. "It doesn't matter what you feel for me or what I feel for you." His gaze shifted to her eyes and held them. "Haven't you realized anything the past few months? We were never meant to be a couple. It's simply impossible."

            "A couple? Van, we're soul mates, I just know it! No one could know another for so long without being destined to be together!" Merle argued.

            "Now you're acting whimsically again." Van smiled faintly. "You've always been such a dreamer, haven't you? Ever since we were kids."

            Merle smiled guiltily. She lifted a hand and slowly reached out toward him. "Yeah, those were the days, weren't they?"

            "That's the past, however," Van cut in, stepping away from Merle's approaching hand. "Merle, if you here just to get back together, then please leave. I meant what I said, Merle. Give it up, I'm never coming back to you."

            Merle gasped and started to shake. Tears really did start to flow down her cheeks. 

            "How can you say that?" she sobbed. "After all those years? After we shared a childhood together?" She tried to wipe away some tears. "Why?"

            Van looked away and stared at a spot on the wall. "Because of whom you've become, Merle. I can't say I know you any more. You can't use our past against me anymore, Merle. Don't tell me about our childhood. That's the past. This is the present. I can barely recognize you as my best friend now. You're not the same Merle I used to love anymore."

            "What are you talking about!" Merle yelled, voice becoming shrilly. "I'm still Merle! I haven't changed!"

            The look Van gave her was almost pity. "You don't know how wrong you are."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "**I** only knew Van and Merle in high school," Dilandau explained to Hitomi. "But they've known each other since they were in diapers. They started to develop feelings for each other around the time I came in and eventually they were a couple. Merle had always been devoted to Van. She even nicknamed him "Lord Van" when they were kids and continued to use it up through high school. I think this devotion that eventually skewed their relationship."

            Dilandau looked at Hitomi to see how she was reacting thus far. Hitomi had glanced down, biting her lip.

            "Merle was devoted to Van in such a way that it twisted her way of thinking," Dilandau continued. "By the time we had graduated from high school two years, Van had already begun recording music with a pretty well established record label and released a single. Merle was by his side all that time, always encouraging him, showing her support. It was at this point that a stone was thrown into their relationship. 

"You see, of all the people in Van's life Merle should have known that Van never wanted to be a pop star. You already know this: Van only wants to share his music with people. For sure he wants to famous but only because famous musicians are remembered, just not as a pop star. But unfortunately it is the pop stars that acquire fame quickly. So Merle somehow got it into her head that Van wanted this kind of publicity. This thought embedded itself into her devotion for Van, and the devotion made her strive to push Van into becoming the very thing he avoided most: a pop star."

"So if it wasn't for Merle, then Van wouldn't have been a pop star?" Hitomi interrupted.

"Well, not exact—" 

"So the reason Van is so miserable is because of _her!_" Hitomi said, voicing taking on a high pitched squeak.

"_No_. Van would have been advertised as a pop star _anyway_. If Merle hadn't been there, his record label would have filled her place. Now would you please _listen_?"

Hitomi shut her mouth, slightly in shock of Dilandau's seriousness.

"Right…" Dilandau scratched his head.  "Where was I? Ah right, Merle wanted Van to be a pop star. Van resisted his transformation into a pop star, but he couldn't very well go against Merle could he?

"After a few months, when his first single became a hit, the press started to turn their attention to Van and his girlfriend. Van didn't quite know how to react, but Merle did. Remember, she thought that making Van out as a pop star was the right thing for Van. So in Merle's track of mind, she decided to she also had to change along with Van. More specifically, she decided that she had to stop being Merle the small town girl into Merle, the pop star's girlfriend." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"**What** are you _talking_ about?" Merle demanded furiously. "Aren't I still the same little Merle? You're best friend in the whole world? The love of your heart?" She leaned forward. "Kitty?" she whispered.

            This did bring a corner of Van's mouth up in a genuine half smile. Merle smiled triumphantly. 

            "See? Our childhood _is _still important! You would have smiled if you hadn't remembered Kitty."

            Van's smile grew sad. Kitty was the nickname Van had given to Merle in retaliation for her calling him Lord Van. Those nicknames had come out of a bizarre series of events that Van really didn't want to think about ever again.

            "Merle, I've already put our childhood behind us," he informed her. "I really wish you would too."

            Merle looked up at him with wide, tear threatening eyes. "What… why are saying that?" Then she grew angry. "That's the same thing you said when we broke up! Van, don't say things like that! Forgetting our childhood would be like forgetting you!"

            Van nodded stonily in confirmation. "That's what you're going to have to do then," he told her.

            Merle's breath caught in her throat. Her chin began to tremble. She quickly rubbed a tear from her eye but she could stop the other tears. 

            "Why do you say things like that? How can you be so cold?" she said softly. If Hitomi had heard her tone of voice, even she could see that Merle's sadness was genuine. "Haven't I always done everything for you? When you became famous I changed my habits just so that I could keep up with you, so I wouldn't make you look bad in front of the press… Everything I ever changed about myself was for you… It's not hard to understand, so why did you push me away then?"

            Shaking his head, Van averted his eyes from Merle's shining face. 

            "Merle, you're the one who didn't understand. You still don't," he told her, gruffly. 

            "What do you mean? How could I _not _understand you? I'm the one who knew you best, and I still do!"

            "If you really knew me then you should have known that what I really needed was for you to _stay yourself_!" Van snapped, his voice rising to a frightening degree. "I've told you again and again. With all the pressure from the paparazzi and the fans, I needed someone by my side who could help me hide away from it, to stay with me."

            "I always stayed with you!" Merle protested.

            "You, on the other hand," Van continued. He narrowed his eyes at her. "You _attracted _the publicity to me. You deliberately publicized our lives, our _private _lives. When I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with the paparazzi, you'd go behind my back and invite some hotshot female reporter into our house. When I specifically requested for my music to be displayed in the rock section, you whispered to the distributors to place them in the Pop section."

            Merle lowered her eyes from his and seemed to concentrate on his chin instead as her crimes were mentioned. She made no move to defend herself.

            "I put up with it only because I loved you at the time and I actually still trusted you. I managed to ignore the physical changes you put yourself through. But I couldn't ignore the changes your personality underwent."

            "Personality?" Merle said. "My personality?"

            "Yes, Merle." Van looked her squarely in the eyes. "Like I've already said thousands and thousands of times, you are not the same Merle that I used to love."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Hitomi** glanced at the conversing couple in the corner when Dilandau paused in his explanation for breath. Merle seemed to be barely holding herself together with her tears and trembling. Van was speaking passionately, about what Hitomi couldn't hear, and had an agitated demeanor about his face. Poor Van. Merle must be giving him so much stress…

            "Anyway," Dilandau said after clearing his throat. "Merle underwent some pretty drastic changes. Believe it or not, Merle used to be a very sweet girl. The Merle that Van used to date was tomboyish, energetic, and didn't care what anyone thought of her. But after Van became famous, this Merle disappeared. Merle began to wear makeup, something the old Merle used to scoff at. She began to actually care about her clothes, what people said about her… It seemed to Merle that someone who was dating one of the most popular and talented celebrities had to be just popular and talented as well. This was the drive of Merle's changes. She felt that she had to be on par with Van so that his image would be better."

            "She actually thought that Van wanted that?" Hitomi said in disbelief. "Even _I _know better, and I've only known Van for a few weeks! And Merle's known him all his life! Dilandau, this doesn't make any sense. How could Van's _childhood friend _think such a thing…"

            "It makes sense when fame's involved with the picture," Dilandau answered. "I think that Merle eventually grew to enjoy the fame that came along with being Van's girlfriend and she wanted more. So then she had a double motive: increase Van's publicity as a pop star so that he'll be bigger and she'll become famous too as well."

            "And being a pop star is the last thing Van would ever want," Hitomi stated sadly. "Poor Van. He must have been so confused."

             "Merle certainly got what she wanted too," said Dilandau. "She's in magazines everywhere these days. It's quite disturbing for me since I've went to school with her."

            Hitomi sighed in disgust. "This makes her seem even more stuck up than I thought she was."

            Dilandau nodded. "In the end, it was Merle's own self intentions that took over. A year after graduation, Merle had pretty much succeeded in establishing a name for herself. It didn't change the fact that her own personal fame spawned from her relationship with Van. By this time, Merle was beyond recognizing Van's personal ambitions for his career. Everything she did to increase his publicity was unconsciously geared toward enhancing her own image. 

            "Only me and the guys in the band recognized this from the beginning. At first, Van refused to believe that Merle could change so much. You can't really blame him. She was his oldest friend after all. They were supposed to know each other better than anyone else did. When Van finally realized that they had both changed into total strangers, he snapped. He had a long talk with Merle, which didn't really accomplish anything.

            "It's like this. The most twisted thing about their relationship is that even though she still craved the spotlight, Merle really thought she was doing everything for Van. Deep down, she truly believed that all the publicity was what Van wanted. She thought this because it was what _she _wanted, and anything she wanted, Van probably wanted too to her mind."

            "And then they broke up, right?" Hitomi asked quietly. 

            Dilandau nodded grimly. "Van finally broke up with her a few months ago. He was the one who left by the way. He stayed at my place during the time after that. The poor guy slipped into a twisted depression. Merle's changes had really hit him hard. Van could barely speak without remembering all the past memories he and Merle had shared. I even saw him cry for the first time. We tried to keep him away from the public but it was too late. Merle's work had lasting effects. Instead of putting a lid on the publicity, Van became more popular than ever. It all Van and us could do to keep from committing murder. But somehow, Van pulled out of it and began to compose music again. I think it really soothed him. Gradually, he became his old more cheerful self again.

            "We decided to bring Van back to our home town, Fanelia, to take a break from the press. This didn't work very well as you probably well know. The fans followed us here and stalked him everywhere he went." 

            Dilandau then grinned and punched Hitomi in the shoulder. He flinched when Hitomi punched him back. "You know what happened afterward, right 'tomi?" he said, winking. "He met you and began a whole new life. I really think he's doing better now that he's with you. Van's so much happier. He's been friendlier to the press, for one."

            Hitomi smiled ruefully. "Thanks for the compliment," she said.

            "I mean it," Dilandau insisted. "You're everything that Merle wasn't, everything that Van wanted in a girlfriend."

            "Yeah, I guess," Hitomi said, slightly blushing. 

            Both looked over at the Merle and Van. Now Van seemed to be raising his voice and Merle's had gone shrilly. 

            "How will Van take it now that Merle's back?" Hitomi wondered nervously.

            "We can only hope for the best," said Dilandau.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"**I'm **hurt, Van," Merle said, tears once again becoming a never ending flow. "I really am. I've been hurt for a long time and you're words only make my wounds deeper."

            "Don't give me that crap," Van snapped. He crossed his arms and glared. Whatever sympathy he had for her had slipped away. Now he found himself exasperated by her theatric behavior. "I've explained myself again and again, Merle. Do you think I'm not hurt either?"

            "I knew you best," Merle muttered softly. "I was just trying to give you what wanted…"

            "If you really knew me best than you would have known that fame was what I detested most," Van replied coldly. "I thought you would have known, but you didn't. It took me a long time to realize that you no longer knew what I really wanted anymore."

            "How could you _not _want fame? _Everyone _wants fame!" Merle insisted, voice becoming a shrill.

            "I wanted to be remembered in history! I wanted people to still be listening to my records fifty years after I died! I didn't want millions of fan girls gushing about my looks. I didn't want scores of reporters camping out on my front door step every night. I _never _wanted it and I still don't." 

            "But how can you be remembered without it?" Merle shouted. "The Beatles aren't famous just for making music! They're famous because of their publicity! Fame is the same thing as publicity. Wanting fame means wanting publicity!"

"Merle, it's what _you _want," Van snapped. "_You _want that kind of fame."

They both lapsed into a tense silence. Tears streamed down Merle's determined face. Van lifted a finger up to his eyes and flicked away a stray tear.

"How could it end out like this?" Merle whispered, breaking the silence. "We were best friends, first loves… How could we hurt each other so much?"

They both met the other's eyes painfully.

"Merle," Van started. "I'm not hurt just because of the things you've done. I'm hurt because I thought you knew better. I thought you would always be Merle Catsdaughter, my best friend. Maybe that's one mistake on my part. In my mind, I thought you were unchangeable. I wouldn't give you any freedom to become what you wanted. Maybe because of this, I somehow influenced you the wrong way into becoming something I didn't want. Let me finish," he said when Merle opened her mouth to protest.

Merle wouldn't let him. "Van we can still be together," she insisted. "We can't have known each other so long to just end this way. It's not right. I'll try to better. I promise I'll listen to you—" 

"That would only work, Merle," Van interrupted, "If I still loved you like I used to. Maybe then I would have considered it. But right now I don't think the effort would be worth it."

Merle gave out a long, wretched sob. This comment had hit her harder than anything else.

Van looked at her sadly. "Merle, don't cry," he said gently. "For the sake of our childhood, you'll always have a place in my heart, if only because I really did love you once. But you don't hold my heart the way you used to. You never will, I've already come to terms with that. Besides, somebody else holds my heart now."

Merle's head snapped up at him, eyes burning with a dark fire.

"Didn't you know?" said Van. "Merle I've already met a girl who can fill your void. This girl loves me for the person I am without my fame. She loves my music because she thinks it's beautiful, not because of their popularity. When she walks out of the house, she goes as herself and nothing more. Her image is her true self, not a made-up cat in glitter. And most of all, she does what _she _wants, not what the paparazzi expects of her."

Merle glanced to the side. Following her gaze, Van confirmed her worst fears.

"Yes, that's Hitomi, my girlfriend," said Van.

Merle furiously wiped away her tears. "So you've replaced me, then?" she snapped. "What does the paparazzi think of her, hm? Do they love her? Do they scorn her?"

Van then realized the secret he had let out. _What have I done?_

Merle laughed at the look on his face in manic giggles. "You've been hiding her, haven't you?" she said maliciously.

Van would have been shocked at the venom in her voice if he hadn't known Merle's true nature. He shrugged.

"If you want to blab to the press, go ahead," he said nonchalantly. 

"And if I do?" Merle challenged.

Van gave her a slow, hard glare. "Don't ever expect a word from me again."

Merle gasped. A small sob escaped her lips. Covering her face, Merle raced out of the room, into the parking lot. She knocked into her limo driver and demanded her cell phone. Snatching the phone out of the poor driver's fumbling hands, Merle pressed a speed dial and held the phone to her ear, tapping her foot impatiently for the other line to pick up.

"Hey Sunny, this is Mary," she said chirpily in a fake cheery voice. "Have I got a scoop for you…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Hitomi **and Dilandau had relaxed into some chairs when suddenly, something blew past them. They raised their heads to the sight of Merle's retreating back.

            "Well, I guess Van's finally broken off completely from her," Dilandau commented.

            Despite her knowledge of Merle's past, Hitomi couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl. But she felt even more sorry for Van. 

            Warm hands dropped onto her shoulder from behind. Hitomi looked up into Van's hair-hidden face.

            "How are you feeling?" she asked, turning around in her chair.

            Van plopped down onto the chair next to her. "I've been better," he said. "Can you comfort me?"

            Van then surprised her by dropping a slow kiss onto her lips.

            "Van!" Hitomi exclaimed. "Not that I mind but there're still people here…"

            "It's makes no difference," Van said gruffly. "It'll be all over the papers by tomorrow morning."

            Hitomi and Dilandau but looked sharply at him. 

            Van nodded dejectedly. "Merle knows about us," he said. "And you can bet she'll leak it out to the press the first chance she gets."

A/n Ack, this chapter had so many mood swings, especially in Van and Merle's dialoguge. One moment they're talking about the past and the next they're yelling at each other. Gah, so inconsistent. Sorry about that. This is the informational chapter so… tell me it it's confusing. I checked it over for grammar but I'm not sure how the actually writing was…


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